If you don’t know what a hyperbole is, well I don’t blame you. Who knows what types of words or phrases are called anyway? I guess English teachers and pedantic forum trolls would be a good answer to that.
Anyway, a hyperbole is basically when you use a word to exaggerate. Like, “Your cat weighs a ton!” You see, no cat weighs a ton, unless it belongs to Lum.
There are a list of words that when used as hyperboles really need to be seen as completely different words altogether. The list is: Love, murder, and rape.
We use the l-word every day to describe our passion for various thing. If your significant other were to take your use of the word ‘love’ to heart, they wouldn’t be as flattered when you told them you loved them.
When I tell a girl I love her it is obviously a lot more meaningful than the way I love tacos. Ok, bad example, cause I love tacos. I really love tacos. Sorry, ladies.
Murder is pretty self explanatory. If someone called the police every time someone used the word murder then Wrigley Field would be under police surveillance 24/7.
The last word is something of a sore subject for some people, as evidenced by recent Penny Arcade comics and subsequent reactions. Of course, they weren’t using it as a hyperbole, but it was still a fantastical and comedic use of the word.
Here is the deal with rape: the word is now synonymous with screwed. So, I got raped by the IRS last year, and every time I try to play Modern Warfare 2 online I get raped.
This does not mean that a government employed worker and the programmers from Infinity Ward came over to my house and ran the train on me all night. Neither does this mean that I condone any trains running on anyone without their express consent.
Also, use of the word as slang doesn’t desensitize anyone to the actual act. If anyone confided in me that they were raped I would not respond, “Oh, I know exactly how you feel. Last night, on Highrise, this one rocketbitch raped me all night.”
So, to sum up: No one condones rape, except rapists… and maybe the Pope.
and Clayton Williams!
and professional sports athletes.