I hear dancing is good exercise. I also hear that sharks are less deadly than vending machines. Well, I am not going to give a great white a buck for a snickers anytime soon…
Dancing is a spectator sport for me. I understand it takes a lot of talent to do it well. I even compare a good dance routine to a well choreographed kung-fu fight scene. No offence to Jackie Chan, but I would rather stare at Kylie Minogue any day of the week. Of course, Michelle Yeoh would kick Kylie’s ass all day, literally.
I hope I have bored you enough that you have stopped reading by now, because I have a confession to make. I listen to dance music. It is a guilty pleasure… and just listening to pulse-pounding beats makes me short on breath, so I consider it a workout.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not just thinking about dancing while listening to dance music. I am thinking about kung-fu fighting. Choreographing fight scenes to dance music is a virtual hobby of mine.
I fear now if I were to ever get into shape and actually learn a martial art I would go into some Pavlovian fugue state and commit a massacre at the disco.
So, me staying out of shape is my way of safeguarding dance halls everywhere. I do what I can, for you.